VANDERLEUN FOR PRESIDENT-

VANDERLEUN FOR PRESIDENT

"President Moi: A Choice Not a Gecko
...If elected I promise to give every American man, woman, and child one million dollars tax free. Plus free parking -- everywhere all the time.

National speed limit: 110MPH.

Economic policy? You break it, you've bought it.

Foreign Policy: You screw with us, even a little, and you are just one flat and glowing squirrel on the vast highway of life. 24 hours, start to finish. That goes for your whole country and your little dog too! I'll make Ivan the Terrible seem like Ivan the Adorable.

When I'm done with all this -- it will take, tops, three weeks -- I'll resign. But I get to keep Air Force One.

Did I mention I'm drafting Sarah Palin as my VP. I am. So relax, you'll be in good, strong hands at last."