Sunday, May 16, 2010

Engaging with the friendly expat enemy:

Dear H and R,
The other day C and I noticed that commentary you placed on
Facebook signed by America’s latest intellectual powerhouse, Sarah
Palin. We must say that even though what she was told to write made us
cringe with embarrassment, it did help us better understand where
America’s radical right stands today. This former beauty queen, ‘Tea
Party’ idle who fell into politics like a fly into molasses, actually
suggests that America has some sort of foreign policy track record to
be proud of. Maybe before making that statement, her team might first
have chatted up an American Indian or two, a few citizens form Chile
or Argentina, Cambodia or Vietnam, Panama, or Cuba. Perhaps they could
have had a little tête-à-tête with a Chechchian , a Georgian, some
people from Azerbaijan, Hungary, the former Yugoslavia, Iraq or
Afghanistan before coming to a final conclusion. Maybe that way the
Palin team might have gained a fresh perspective on how others feel
when America either just screws up, or takes things to the next level
and decides to blow their country apart.
Oh, and by the way: It’s no longer 1775. I promise. This is 2010 and
believe it or not our country's struggle for self-government is over.
The whole world is now well aware of our disproportionate military
power, life-style of overabundance and extraordinary wealth. The
question now is, why some Americans think they have the expertise to
be governing everyone else. Or are all those ugly rumors we used to
hear, actually true: That the United States really dose think it
should be ruling the world.
Be that as it may, we send you our love, no matter how detached we may
think you are from reality. Long live human dialogue.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx C and R

Dear Daughter and Son in Law and BF,
Whew, a toxic shock out of the blue. Haven't heard a word from these guys in years. I am a fan of Sarah Palin but didn't ever post anything on FB
Time to shower off. Sending this on to see if it is my mind parasites
acting up or what?

Dear Beloved Mother-In-Law;

Perhaps they need a refreshment course on world history?
With C being Spanish; you would think she would be able to shoulder some
of the guilt for the discovery of the "new world". It was Spain via Columbus
(a name they should have heard of, or have they already erased it from their
own esoteric set of history books?) who started with the eradication of the
Americas indigenous populations (or Cortes, pick your poison).

Furthermore; doesn't R generate his money through the deforestation of
what is left of our natural forests? Forests which once belonged to the
natives of the northwest United States! And didn't he send you this e-mail on
Earth day? What a blankity blank and a blankity blank. Perhaps he and his wife should spend a little more time in the history books before berating a woman solely on the fact that she is good looking (Sarah Palin). This is the typical liberal
expression of jealousy for things we take for granted and don't feel sorry for
having. Too bad their minds will never be free enough to let go of the guilt
they generate by having "possessions". Their citizenship should be revoked!
Economy envy anyone?
I wouldn't respond to these people at all. It is obvious you don't need them
in your life anymore. You love your country , and they want to give it away. To me that's the end. And who are they kidding with that "we still love you" crap!
Please excuse the profanity;
Love , S

And I'm serious, don't respond.

> On Fri, Apr 23, 2010 at 8:25 PM,

BF says:

Wow! I do NOT want to give a hand in answering. Delete and forget their
letter. We folks who love and appreciate America don't have any time for
this. We're busy repairing and rebuilding her at home!!!!
On Apr 23, 2010, at 10:28 AM,

My dear C and R,

How very nice to hear from you and know that you are well. What a gas
your letter was. You have a definite talent for satire. The Onion has a
major competitor in you and your stuff . Come back to Hollywood
already, all is forgiven . We had a dinner party for 10 last night and
read your piece to the hopefully well fed table over dessert. You would
have thought it was a meeting of your local Asthmatic Sufferers Society
so many were the wheezes what with the prolonged weeping with glee,
chortles, guffaws , giggles and explosive merriment after we finally
finished your email recitation. You nailed that that classic
historically ignorant cultural cringer in the dreaded Washington Irving
tradition mediocrity we call the {usually trust funded] typical removed
from the fray ex pat that I remember from my childhood. They were usually
observed living on the continent in places with very shallow histories
of continuing consensual governance therefore not Anglo phone lands and
subject to fits of impertinence (Greece two weeks ago) and
pusillanimity (Spain voting for dhimmitude after the Islamist attacks in
Are you back in the states or still gallivanting among those
merry making Euro trash with their tender yet festive approaches to
governance and their unemployed masses especially among the youts.
Why it must be up to 6 or 7 % these days. Of course with their demographic
problems this unemployment rate will go down as the bulk of their
populations will reach a richly deserved retirement and be eligible for
a good state pension. And since many lands on the continent have very
very low birth rates{the aforementioned Greece and Spain,along with
Portugal and Italy being the bottom breeders} this unemployment problem
will go away as there will be no one left to work at the restaurants
etc.that so many Euro grads haunt.

Your note mentioned a commentary written by Sarah Palin. I don't
remember posting anything like that on FB therefore I will try dealing with what you wrote instead. I amm somewhat puzzled by your American Indian reference .I know 2 Gujarati born Docs and a very funny Bengali (all very happy to be US citizens now). I talk with them regularly and they are very knowledgeable about US history . For instance, I now understand that the U.S. has military agreements in place with the Navy ,Army and Air Forces of India and we now have an agreement to help them modernize their Special Forces as the Mumbai attack exposed major shortcomings in their deployment flexibility . Apparently their units that had some training to deal with such an attack were in the New Delhi region and unable to mount a immediate response. I am sending you a piece from "Foreign Affairs". On page 5 he deals with this as well as
Georgia which you mentioned. Apparently cyber attack was the key
there. Denial of service to the Georgian Defense Forces was mounted by
the Russians with the very sad result. Chile is prospering , Argentina
is not. Cambodia and Vietnam went through hell after our Congress voted
to stop supplying "beans and bullets" in1974 to the Rep. of Viet Nam. The
Army of the Republic of VietNam was showing fierce resistance ( Xuan Loc ) at the time. There was the good possibility that , similar to Iraq today, even then they could have come out of the war and survived as a state . South Korea showed it can be done. But the USSR and PRC kept the re supply ships coming into Haiphong. Without supplies no Army can fight and it was NVA tanks and
not some Viet Cong bare foot soldiers that finally crashed the gates of
the Presidential Palace in Saigon.
Oh my gosh, could you possibly have meant by "American Indian "those of
our US citizens who are from the feather culture and not the dot? If so
ignore the South Asian thoughts above. Shucks, R and C, I talk
to H every day or did you not know of her Cherokee blood? My accountant is part Pawnee , and we talk regularly during tax time. My agent has a Chiricahua Apache receptionist . I speak to her more than my agent these days. Come back home to Hollywood and write some more comedy We need you here. You are an original hoot and we love that about you. It is, alas, an increasingly rare quality since Billy Wilder left us.
Love and kisses,
R and H

Dear R and H
It will come as no surprise that the note we sent to you, the other day, was
not a satirical piece. What we said was what we meant.
Thank you, nevertheless, for replying. We found your response, however, to be
confusing. Were you suggesting that Palin actually had a functioning cortex,
or that the American Indian was ‘grateful’ for being wiped off the American
plains, or that the United States only invades sovereign nations in order to
help them? Indeed, what was it you were trying to tell us? Do you think you
could try your hand at a serious answer? We have been abroad since last
November. We look forward to returning perhaps September. America, it seems,
is finally trying to set itself straight.
Love from your expatriate buddies,
R and C

Dearest R and C

The deal about functioning cortexes is that good ones allow the fortunate
among us to discern that with duality and paradox it is actually possible to
be both humorous, or satirical if you will, and dead serious at the same time.
Great truth and substance can be found in a jelly bean coating.
As an example, take your latest message, when you called Sarah Palin America's"latest intellectual powerhouse", my functioning cortex signaled me you were probably not being really straight and sincere about that and even being somewhat, dare I say it, snide. Just as when you mentioned "former beauty queen", I believe you meant that in a disparaging way, as if to infer that
someone of that title could not possibly be capable of being taken seriously
as a politician. It showed a certain bias towards gender and avocation I
thought but, no matter. Now I'm quite certain when you added "what she was
told to write" ,as if she needed to be told, that that was said to disparage
the Gal even more. My, my. my, my my. my. my. my. My research on her showed an extremely capable politician who rose up to be Governor of her state> through talent, intelligence, and hard work. Hardly a party hack, she took on
the corrupt old boys of her party, made deals that brought great income to her
state, and had an extremely high popularity rating (70% as I recall). Geez,
R, I'm sorry but I find all that sort of stuff kind of admirable. She is cute, and saucy, a bit sarcastic at times which appeals to me, I'm sad to report, and I'm crazy about her folksy way of talkin', don't you know. Her humor does suggest to me some serious signs of intelligence as I've always thought the two were equated.

Well look........ heck, she may never ever run for office again so for the
life of me I can't figure out why some people get their tits in a twitter
about her. But perhaps my values are too 1775 and not nearly enough 2010.
Can't recall, was that earlier year, the one with Lady Gaga?

As the cortex is simply the veneer of the cerebrum and cerebellum, I'm going
to try and penetrate the depths of the ladder and see if I can in any way get
hooked up to this other reality you mentioned that I"m so detached from. So no
sense wasting any more time here with us until I get on track. Going to get
right to it now. I'll let you know when I come up with anything. Hang tight.
But be patient. It may take awhile.

Oops, sorry, almost forgot, Got to go now. We're late for this party where
I've been told they're serving Orange Pekoe and Darjeeling. Yummy. Until you
hear from me again.
R and H

Our friend wrote:
Hello all,
And thank you for your clear response to our remarks about Palin, etc.
This time, we understood every word. Bravo! And you put us straight
with such finesse! As for Palin, everything we have ever seen of her
has lead us to believe that in spite of her good looks and powerful
support from the extreme right, she still reeks of being an un-read
power-climber who is grossly unqualified to lead much of anything or

As for the rest of our observations, no response is required. Our
views, although shared by others the world over, are still just
personal opinions from two ex-conservatives who, over the years, have become profoundly disillusioned with Uncle Sam’s smug use of power and
wealth. They are views that must be the result of our continually
changing venue. How life close to the trenches can change one’s
attitude and understanding of those who struggle just to stay alive.

Keep the home fires burning, and enjoy those tea parties of yours.
Do hug an Indian for us every once in a while, though, it’s good for
the spirit. Mixed breeds like H or myself, by the way, don’t count.

Cheers from enemy territory, c’est-à-dire, la belle France.

My dear xxxxxxxxxxxx,

Thank you for your kind thoughts for those of us "in the trenches".
Who would have thought, before this week, that humble players would be
in the cross hairs. Detroit residents at Christmas , Army recruiters
in Little Rock, unarmed soldiers at Ft.Hood yes. And now this. Struggling to
stay alive in the theater takes on new meaning indeed. The TV
series "South Park" could well have prompted such an attack with the
wretched car bomb parked in front of the Viacom Bldg on 45th and 7th
Ave. at 6:30 pm! When audiences are parking and supping and players
putting on their slap and going over their words. Thank God it did not
explode. May all such attempts be"amateur".Of my three friends
currently on the Great White Way, all went on after the all clear.
Only Lucy Liu in "God of Carnage" did not. She later expressed regret that she succumbed to what ,caution?
I am working to find a theater to do a play that no one seems to want to
touch , dealing with the very thing that made" South Park" a probable
target; the showing of an image of Mohammad the Prophet . 4 characters
and 1 set, the reception tent of the opening of that 1977 epic
"Mohammad Messenger of God." It is very well written. It received excellent notices when it appeared in a small off off Broadway house. I have shopped it around to those I know and they don't want to touch it for the same
reason,"caution." It is titled "The Caterers" by Jonathan Leaf.
Similarly, Yale Univ. Press did not publish even one of the
Danish cartoons in their book about them. Sad to say, it has
come to this.
But, one must not back off, surrender , bug out , or whatever euphemism is in these days for cowardice, pusillanimity and abandoning the good fight ( why else trenches. )
Remind those who seem to have your ear that, far from being "smug" in our use of our money and power we saved the lives of more Muslims than any other nation in recent times . SAVED.
Remind them that our troops are still in Germany, allowing the rest of a sorry lot {with a very fewstriking exceptions} to take what would have been Defense monies and spend them on social programs.
Remind them that the wretched Greeks are now being saved by the IMF And that our country pays 17% of that entity's budget
three times more than the next contributor!
Point out to their bias -blinded eyes that Iraq is
a victory. Full stop. As a result of the sacrifices of the Coalition of
the Willing, lead by the US , the Iraqi's are grateful to be living
in a land, unique among the countries of the Middle East, except Israel of
course, governed by the consent of it's citizens. Ouday and Qusay are bad
memories along with their Pater. Did this in Caesar seem "smug"? apologies to Will Shakespeare}
Gratitude would be in order
to all who brought this extraordinary achievement about, including, of course ,the Spanish Army until they were pulled out.
>> The poor Cubans still suffer under the Castro's and their friends including most recently the unkind Pres.Lula of Brazil, who equated Orlando Zapata Ta mayo the human rights hunger striker, in the week of his death, to a common criminal such as one would find in Sao Paolo. And I believe he uttered those cruel wordsin Havana no less.

These views are shared by so many throughout the US. That one would
choose to be outside the country at this time of great popular debate is
odd. Long time Power Broker members of Congress are realizing how out
of step they are with the electorate. Virginia and New Jersey were wake up
calls and Scott Brown's victory in Mass. in the "Kennedy" seat election
melted the phone lines to many a Roofing and Excavating Companies Offices.
I fear for those quaint ,funny ,foreigners who are deeply and most
lamentably unread . Suggest to them that they pick up "The anti-American
obsession" by Jean-Francois Revel, "Intellectuals and Society" by Thomas
Sowell, "America Alone" by Mark Steyn, "The looming Tower" by Lawrence
Wright,"Imperial Grunts" by Robert Kaplan and of course anything by Paul
Johnson and Victor Davis Hanson for starters. Because on their present
path they arebecoming the laughing stock over here in
this land on the front lines. Those who have your ear obviously have a
long way to go . I fear the rank amateur who is our President,
the deeply "un-read(sic) power climber who is grossly unqualified to
lead anything or anyone" is not helping matters at all.
There you go again with the hug an ""Indian"suggestion. You ignored what I
sent you about the Indians and their valiant efforts after Mumbai, including
the young women Naval Aviators. Did you not receive those e mails? Or were
you,yet again ,referring to our fellow Americans of the feather cultures in
opting to express the Racial Purity ravings of an Alfred Rosenberg , Reich Minister for the Occupied Eastern Territories? Governor Palin surely hugs her Yup'ik and Curyung blooded husband, Todd, with at least as much enthusiasm as C hugs you. My guess is they do not openly quibble about how much of the
their huggee's blood is "mixed". Although some might suggest it could be
a worthy endeavor to quibble , Sybil, in the latter instance, one can
profitably ignore such uncharitable thinking. I ,of course, have been
an avid hugger of "mixed breeds" from the get go.

Please be well and return to the fray. It is a most worthy cause.

Love and kisses,